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Keeping Your Agreements



“Your life works to the degree you keep your agreements” Werner Erhardt.

Founder of the EST Training and Landmark Forum

Back in the day, agreements were made on an intention and handshake. One’s word was solid. Today, keeping agreements seems to be a hit or miss affair. So many bells, whistles, distractions come in and snag your YES and you wake up, haven’t progressed, and have to start over.…again. Does this sound familiar?

When you do not keep your agreements, you pay both external and internal costs. These costs are high and can lead to the loss of one’s self-esteem, self-confidence and self-respect.

Every agreement you make is ultimately with yourself. This is worth repeating. Every agreement you make is ultimately with yourself.

Your integrity…. your self esteem…. are tied directly to your decision to maintain your agreements. By understanding the value of your integrity, you won’t make agreements that you don’t intend to keep, you will make fewer agreements and you will do whatever it takes to keep the ones you do make.

The real problem is not that people give and break their word so easily; it’s that they don’t realize the psychological cost of doing so. When you don’t keep your agreements, you lose trust, respect and credibility with others - your family, your friends, your colleagues, and your customers. You create messes in your own life and in the lives of those who depend on you for getting things done - whether it’s showing up on time to leave for the movies, getting a report done on time or cleaning the garage.

After a few weeks of not following through on your promises, others begin not to trust you to keep your word. They realize they can’t count on you. You lose authority with them and your relationship deteriorates.

Here is the most important point - this is a great takeaway - Every Agreement You Make With Others Is Also Made With Yourself. When you don’t follow through you lose respect, trust and credibility with yourself. You lose faith in your ability to produce a result. You weaken your sense of integrity.

Let’s say that you tell your spouse you’re going to get up @ 6:30 am to exercise before you go to work. After 3 days of hitting the snooze alarm, your brain knows better than to trust you. Of course, you may think sleeping late is no big deal, but to your unconscious it is a very big deal. When you don’t do what you say you will, you create confusion and self-doubt. You undermine your sense of personal power. You can’t trust yourself, you begin living in anxiety, lost sense of self, and become indecisive because you have lost belief in yourself.

Solution: Keep your commitments to others and to yourself. Don’t say Yes if you really mean no or you are saying Yes on top of something you already said yes to. I remember someone once said to me for every YES you commit to it will be followed by 100 NO’s to keep your original YES commitment. Get comfortable saying NO. No means Yes to your commitment, your self-respect, your self-esteem, TO YOU!

“Your life works to the degree you keep your agreements” Werner Erhardt.

Founder of the EST Training and Landmark Forum

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